Latitudes

And then I found a movie that reminds me of us
Out of nothing, zapping on tv
And the places we'd been together
Latitudes on a map
And us
The only diference is that they opened their hearts
But then is just a movie
Real life is so much hard
To look in the eyes and bleed your heart out in words
Just to get hurt
'Cause sometimes words are not enough
And the fear of the unknown paralizes
When love is just an illusion
And maybe, just maybe
In a remote situation
If I had said how I feel
Just maybe
You would say you felt the same
But I felt the love in your eyes were gone
So I'd better kept it all to me
And when all we lived became just memories
my heart just fell into pieces
You were not only far from me in latitudes on the map...your heart was no longer there
It was not physical...it was that connection, right there...and it was missing
You were gone
I lost you
And with you I lost myself and sunk into my heart and soul to release the sorrow
Because it hurts so much to realize
The only answer is to let you go
Although you are not gone
You are still here
And will forever be
But I can't keep up the illusions
I can't live my life waiting for the day, that single moment I would be expecting eagerly for I don't know how long, missing you...wanting you....hurting me
That overwhelming moment when and where we would meet again
To live more illusions
Until the next goodbye
But then it would be more memories
More longing
More missing
And you would be more distant
Slipping away through my hands
And probably this next time would never happened
'Cause you were already gone
I was not in your heart anymore
And at this moment I wonder...was I ever?
Perharps if there are still some part of me in you
Then who knows
If there's hope
If there's love
We have the latitudes
I'll always be waiting, but not expecting

Quando achei me perdi

Revirando em pensamentos e lembranças
Relendo correspondências do passado
Sinto que eu algum lugar te perdi
Olhando para o céu apenas uma estrela desponta
E como de costume desejo você
Caminhos que se cruzam raramente seguem a mesma direção
E talvez seja esse o destino
Um adeus sem esperança
Um futuro sem amanhã
Perder-se dentro de si
Para esquecer ou ao menos tentar aceitar
Amar em silêncio

Sobre planetas e caixas de músicas - o adeus

E naquele momento um toque no escuro
E tudo mudou de lugar
Um reflexo da bailarina
Em um mundo virado do avesso
Uma silhueta no escuro
Em meio a elixires de sonhos desconexos
E a fuga para esquecer tornou-se
Uma nova imersão na difícil missão de esquecer
E ela sabia naquele momento o que ia acontecer
E assim mesmo se entregou
E viu nas profundezas de um olhar
O amor
Naquele mesmo olhar
O adeus
A bailarina anda perdida dentro de si mesmo, imóvel
Ela sabe que precisa seguir em frente
Mas sabe o que a espera
Tudo o que ela queria estava logo ali
E ela prrcisava se despir do passado
Para se reencontrar vazia
Libertar-se de algo que a fez feliz
E que se tornou um grande silêncio
A angústia de respirar
A ausência dela mesma
Pois sem ele
Ela não sabia mais dançar
O sorriso morreu
Assim como seu jardim
A caixa de músicas era silêncio
Era hora de deixar ir
Acender as luzes
Ligar a música
Reaprender a dançar
A bailarina não quer nunca mais se apaixonar
Não quer sentir
Ela quer sair de dentro dela mesma
Ser outra
Não lembrar
Esquecer o toque
Esquecer o céu
Esquecer o sorriso
O olhar
Como se o vento pudesse soprar e levar tudo embora

One of those I never have the courage to send

I've been putting up with so much lately, that the longing and yearning and missing you is just too much for me to handle.
I need to get over you for my own good.
Keeping you in me is just too hard
I need to say goodbye
I'm weak and have been feeling so blue
I need to move on
Focus on my work
Keep life going
Quit building up illusions
Put my feet on the ground and keep moving forward
Maybe someday somewhere
We might run into each other again
But I cannot live my life waiting for this day to come
It hurts so much
And I know you don't care
I have the feeling I'm just bothering and annoying you with all my chatting
When what you just want is to keep going with your own life
I might as well just do the same
Don't get me wrong
I just need to let you go of me...or at least try.

Dormente é um coração cansado de ter esperanças

Decidi desisitir
Matar todas as expectativas que existem em mim
Parar de lembrar do passado
Do que foi
Apesar de nao ter controle sobre minhas lembrancas
Mas nao mais alimentarei isso
Eh muito esforco e dedicacao por acreditar em algo
Que me coloquei a questionar
Que somente eu acredito
Os sentimentos ficarao aqui guardados
Adormecidos
Mas nao aguento mais sofrer a saudade, a espera, as incertezas
Tudo o que poderia ser
E que nunca sera
Duas linhas paralelas
Que se cruzaram na dobra do papel
De que vale esse sentir vazio
Se so me alimenta de tristeza pela distancia
o amor vive tudo isso adormecido
Cansou de acreditar
Vou te deixar ir de mim
Como ja nao estou em voce
E quem sabe um dia
Encontramos outra dobra no mapa
So nao quero mais acreditar e sofrer a espera agarrando-me a memorias
Lembrancas que mais parecem sonhos
Nao quero um jogo
Muito menos um desafio
Quero apenas amizade companheirismo cumplicidade
Carinho
Um toque um olhar
Aqui é muito vazio
Nao quero andar sozinha no escuro
Nem tatear a minha lembranca
Imaginar o impossivel
Quero o real
As conversas
Nao me basta o silencio
E o que foi uma vez
Nunca tornará a ser novamente
Nao ha ilusoes sobre isso
A testemunha eh o ultimo adeus
E o retorno ao zero
Digo entao adeus

Giving up temptation

I have to admit i'm weak
And i give away easily for temptation
But somehow it's to punish myself for not having what i want...what i need
...
Life alone is not easy
And sometimes you need to fill your needs
I don't want it even though i need it
It's fisiologic
But the irony is that
The more i love you
The less this makes it real
And however i've been stupid
There's always reason
And then i'm more sure than ever
Have to be strong to avoid my sins
Love is farther away from that
But i'll swear to myself
I'll be strong enough
I have a love stronger than that
I should have understood this before
But then we are just humans
Making it always wrong until we get it right
Out of naiveness and insecurities and fears never discussed before
And no matter how many mistakes
Words misplaced
Is you i love
And for that there will never be no regret
However all the love
I'm just human
Lonely and insecure
In the middle of a crowd
Of emptyness
Solitude
Loneliness
And being with you is anthing but that

Can I believe

I just wanted to believe this story could someday have a happy ending
Although I know your heart is not mine and that each and every day the more I think of you your thoughts are getting farther away from me
I'm just some memories of good fun times a glimpse in the movie of your whole life
on the other hand you are the one my heart belongs to
I lived so many lives in this one
I know this feeling and it doesn't happen often
It's just not the feel the touch
But also the energy that emanates and surround us when we are together
Your eyes...when I close mine I always see deep in yours as if you were right here facing me
Your voice as if you were whispering in my ears
Your touch
And I'm in heaven and hell all at once
It's not just moments but the way we are together
The little things about
And I love it all
The longing the yearning burns my heart and soul
Your presence is my peace
Loving you is part of me

Something to believe in

I keep wondering if all that was true
But most of all if your feelings for me are real
I wanted to say so many things, but when I'm close to you the words just seems to disappear
All my insecurities are gone
And I forget all my fears
So no words are necessary to express what I feel
Just the fact that you are close to me
Make it all worth it
You opened yourself to me
Although somehow deep inside I knew you kept somethings from me
And I'm afraid you have feelings for someone else
I'm in love with you
And miss you each hour
You think I don't care about you
But you are in my thoughts all the time
Even before our last encounter
And in my heart I know what you mean to me
And that's all I need

The Hours by Michael Cunningham

It had seemed like the beginning of happiness, and she is still sometimes shocked, more than thirty years later, to realize that it was happiness; that the entire experience lay in a kiss and a walk, the anticipation of dinner and a book...What lives undimmed in her mind more than three decades later is a kiss at dusk on a patch of dead grass, and a walk around a pond. There is still that singular perfection, and it's perfect in part because it seemed, at the time, so clearly to promise more. Now she knows: That was the moment, right then. There has been no other.

“I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.

Mais uma vez...adeus...

Sinto-me vazia
Um vazio de dor e de ausência que me preenche a sua falta.
É uma dor que às vezes penso não ser capaz de aguentar
Não basta o amor, não basta a esperança, nem mesmo acreditar
A saudade me invade levando toda a minha força e traz o sofrimento
Nem mesmo as lembranças dos melhores dias da minha vida, quando tinha você ao meu lado, são capazes de amenizar o que me aflige
É um medo de ser sem você
Quero guardar esperanças
Mas nem mesmo sei quanto posso acreditar
Você é minha paz
A melhor coisa que já aconteceu na minha vida em uma diversidade de sentimentos
É amor, é desejo, é paixão, carinho, saudade que doi e aniquila
Medo do desconhecido
Sofrimento inevitável
Perdoe-me se sou fraca demais para aguentar
Quando me entrego sou inteira
E assim sou sua
Mesmo que não saiba
Mesmo que a distância nao permita que enxergue e que entenda
Quero aprender a ser forte
Ser paciente
Ter forças para te esperar seja o quanto for
Acreditar que seremos novamente um
Sonhar que não existe nem tempo nem espaço
E que o aqui e o agora é onde estaremos unidos pelos corações
Entretanto ando cansada de tanta solidão
Do silêncio
Doi saber o como as coisas mudam quando não está ao meu lado
Queria saber se realmente sente o que sinto
Não quero me iludir
Não preciso acreditar em mentiras
Decepção e sofrimento são tudo o que já sei da vida e não preciso mais
Quero saber do amor, puro e inocente de andar de mãos dadas, rir, olhar o céu, trocar olhares, um simples toque, compartilhar esse mundo com diferentes olhares
Ser um em duas partes
Só te amar