broken hurts

It`s no easy to say how it feels
then you open up with all the strengh you could gather
to say out loud things that you keep for yourself for so long
just to get hurt
disappontment is made out of high expectations
builg from yourself
from within
when you want something so much
and create expectations so high
untill you find out
you believed in lies all along
because you were so blindly in love
that you could believe in anything
you try to fleed from you owm feelings
you burst in cry
you suffer
you long so much for someone
it kills you inside
and all this is for nothing
because on the other side
someone just despise you
don`t even care if you are ok
don`t take any consideration
for your feelings
for all that you`ve done
don`t take for granted how hard it was
to take the courage to say all that you said
when you opened your heart
for all the ways you tried to reach for him
don`t care about your suffering
if you miss the moments together
don`t even mind to question why you try to cut the rope
you just figure
it was all lies
he never even care
and then you`re broken
forever

Tired of it all

And then I met him
I was never the same again
People come and go
And always leave a part of them
And that changes you forever
But this time was different
He changed me in some other way
I cannot explain exactly how
I feel as if I have lost myself
Since he is gone out of my life
I keep trying to understand what is going on
It simply does not make any sense anymore
Everything lost meaning
The days are just countless hours of boredome
While my dreams are filled with hopes
And then I wake up and reality makes sure I understand clearly
Is better to sleep and not to think
I'm tired of being sad
So sick of this heartache
Nothing seems to change this everlast state of mine
It's all a mess inside and outside
Just like a terrible nightmare
Cold surrounded by strange caracters
Alone trying to runaway but the more I try the less I move
I was told from the beggining don't hurt him
But I was the one who got hurt and deceived
And even before that I was told this was coming to me as a lesson
I should have kept myself away from this
It was a trap from the start
My naive heart so foolish and dreamy believed it
All lies
Just one more story
One more adventure
Wish I could be stronger to know the right time to say goobye
Instead, I insisted in living a lie
To go dthe deepest I could for nothing
Just to hurt even more
No I lost a piece of me
At peast my heart is in peace
I've done everything in my reach
But as the song say
Love is a two way street
So I've trying to put my heart to sleep
To forget who you are
To bring myself back
To see with brighter eyes
And live my life as I've always lived
Without you

Contempt

I've noticed the more we doubt, the more we cling to a false lucidity, in hope of rationalizing what feelings have made murky.

It is killing me day by day

Right now all I need is to hug you
And cuddle next to you
I almost can feel your touch
My heart is just hurting so much from missing you
I just don't know how to deal with this
I never thought I would feel this way about you
And I didn't know it could hurt so bad
Sometimes I cry
And sometimes I hate myself for not being able to control this
And the worst part is to not know for how long I will handle this
And for not having the slightest idea if I will ever see you again
It just kills me
Feels like I'm dying little by little
Wish you could understand how much I need you and miss you
Is just like being lost in the dark
This never happened before
I never cried everyday like this before
Something is wrong with me
This can't just be impossible love
I just wished I could let all this go away
Why is it so hard?
Why can I just have you by my side
Why?
It just hurts so bad
And your silence
And not knowing how you feel
And not knowing what will happen
And the feeling we will never meet again
It is just all so hard to carry
I'm just a girl all alone
Carrying this all by myself
And I don't know how much I can handle
Nothing around me can change that
No one can fill this void
Nothing
I've been somewhere close to this before
And I could just keep going
Filling voids
Not this time though
What's going on?
Can somebody tell me
I just want to get out of this
And walk through it
Free of all this hurting and pain within
My heart is forever crashed
I haven't done anything to be feeling like this
I just want to disappear
I just need to leave myself and all these feelings
I just cannot waste my tears over this
I don't know where they all come from
It was never like this before
I just need to fill this void
I just need to let this go
I need answers
I need to quiet down my heart
I need to silence down these feelings
But as you silence the more my heart hurts and screams
I need to let this go
Just have to learn how

Quando já havia te perdido

E então eu entendi que seu silêncio significa que realmente existe alguém
Que não eu
Como já suspeitava
Como alguns indicios demonstravam
Mas nao queria acreditar
Será que perdi seu coração?
Não me importa se existem distrações, companhias para a abafar a solidão, eu compreendo
Mas como sempre temi perder seu coração
Eu mantenho o  meu fiel
E não importa o que aconteça é você que eu quero
Enquanto o resto é distração
Não quero te perder
Mas sinto que já não estou mais em você
Você não sabe o como quero estar mais perto

Só queria dizer

Eu não amo para ser amada de volta

Apesar que no coração de um apaixonado 

espera-se sempre ser amado de volta

Busco a calma dos dias, onde amantes são amigos, cumplices

O ser amado, hoje tem medo te compartilhar do amor

Só queria que disseste se também me ama

E que entendesse que a sinceridade é a maior aliada da nossa história

Quero poder compartilhar, saber o que pensa, dizer o que sinto

Não deixar vestígios de suspeitas

Às vezes acho que você me enxerga de uma maneira que não sou

Supondo histórias que não são verdadeiras

Acreditando que eu finjo ser quem não sou

Assim também penso e gostaria de saber muito mais

Para não supor, não idealizar, não enxergar cegamente, não acreditar que tudo é mentira,

mas também não me iludir em sonhos e devaneios de um coração que acredita, porque ama, e tem esperança e sente na distância e se afoga em saudades

Se pudesse realizar um desejo nesse momento, gostaria de poder estar a sua frente

E falar o que eu sinto, o que me fere, o que me apavora, por que eu fujo, o que espero, meus sonhos

Acima de tudo, queria ouvir de você

Para só assim saber se sigo a acreditar

Ou por fim entender que é tudo uma ilusão

Apenas os sonhos nos quais te vejo toda noite e ouço as mais lindas palavras

É quando durmo que nossa história acontece

Por que só eu não vejo

Não sei se é ingenuidade
Não sei se faço tudo errado
Queria poder dizer
O que doi, o que incomoda
Entender o que houve de errado
Saber se você realmente se importa
E se sim, o por que age assim
Te magoei em algum momento, por que?
E se o fiz saiba, nunca foi minha intenção
Só queria a chance de poder te amar e cuidar de você
Eu não sou mais a mesma
Algo em mim morreu sem você
Seu silêncio e sua distância me deixaram sem rumo
Preferi fugir
Mas mesmo fugindo não consigo deixar você ir
E talvez por inocência, ou por acreditar demais, ou por não entender, eu continuo a insistir em ouvir você...sem sucesso
Eu deveria entender, sim, é o fim, desde o dia que nos separamos e você se mostrou distante
Mas não, eu não consigo entender, não quero acreditar, prefiro me cegar
E acabo me magoando no seu mar de silêncio e indiferença
Espero que um dia passe
Enquanto isso vivo à espera em saudade
Não queria que fosse assim...

Sobre planetas e caixas de músicas - um coração abandonado

A caixa de músicas não é mais a mesma
Nem mesmo é a bailarina
Uma vez houve dança
A música segue a tocar
A bailarina só não sabe mais dançar
Ela espera
E a música faz chorar
E não existe mais astronauta
Nem mesmo soldados de chumbo
Nem anjos
Nem mensagens aos ventos
Hoje a bailarina chora por dentro
Pois ela um dia conheceu o espaço
E o planeta do astronauta
E visitaram outros planetas juntos
Eles dançaram e se amaram num planeta muito particular
Como em um sonho
Mas foi real
A bailarina voltou a sua caixa de músicas
Mas continua lá
Em lembranças
Junto com seu astronauta
Em um planeta distante
Que era também uma caixa de músicas
Cheia de amor
Cheia de vida
Sol
Luz
Cores
Havia vida naquele planeta distante
Dancas e coreografias
Como nunca antes
A bailarina desceu das nuvens encantada
E ao mesmo tempo desencantada da vida
Nada dura
Tudo morre
Ate as cancoes, as dancas, os planetas
E assim o astronauta se foi
E ela morreu por dentro
E desaprendeu a dancar
Ela espera o dia em que vai buscar sua vida de volta
No olhar do astronauta
La no fundo
Bem la dentro
Ela entregou sua vida para ele
E se perdeu
E faz um mes ela deixou seu coração
E parece uma vida
E ela nao sabe mais ser
E so silencio

The moon greets me trhough the window

To feel any of your presence would be enough for me
Instead I just feel you farther and farther away
I try to erase the memories that surround my days
And after all I keep expecting and waiting
For you
Or maybe just a single word
And I wonder for how long I'll keep going with this
Missing you is just as part of me as the air I breath
And I think my heart will be forever broken
And alone I wait
Alone in the crowd is me without you
There's always some hope that keeps me believing
Even though you are gone
I wish I could say right across your eyes all the truth I've been holding
Will this ever be possible
I'm trying to keep going on
Albait there's all these feelings holding me back
I was supposed to be with you right now
Just one more time
If only you had said something
But as always you remained silent
And for the moment something inside me triggered that maybe I was just pulling to hard trying to get you closer to me
I'll never understand what I'd done wrong
When I feel we were meant to be
But maybe is just that
We just might keep our parting ways
However I do hope our paths will cross again

Reaching for love

I found what is really true for me
That one thing far from my reach
And then past knocks on my door
I open it just to make sure it's all gone
Deep inside me guilt controls me for
I just can't take my love out of my thoughts
And that makes everything else worthless
Life is what you make from it
The people that passes through it
Some stay, some make you laugh, some make you cry, some hurt you, some makes you fall in love, some go, some leave, some are forever
No matter what you do to let it go
It's always there
As part of you
And nothing seems to change that
Somethings are just meant to happen
Some others are just fated to be kept in silence
Deep in your heart as the safest place to let it live
Hidden from the uglyness of the world, safe from pain, safe from lies, safe from getting hurt
Just waiting
Love has no pride
Holding on some hope
Blind faith of lovers
That believe magic can happen

Wild is the wind

Tonight I met part of our life
That part right there in the beginning
And it made me closer to you
'Cause no matter where we are
There are always memories
There's always you
I'm giving a try
To let you go
And you are gone
Although for me you are always here
And it is funny how life works
The closest are farther than those who are really far from you
It makes so much sense
'Cause no matter how you will feel they are always there
And I might be blind
But I still feel you
And sometimes I want to say
But I'd rather keep it to myself
There's life, there are obstacles, there's love...and that's how we keep working
We always see the beauty outside our bubbles
Until we find out
We have the beauty within
We chase perfection
Where only little perfect mistakes are just what we need
No matter how out of the rules we are
Doesn't matter how wrong this works
Right there is perfection
Sometimes the closest are not the better
Most of the time the pretenders are the right
Liars that fake some movie scene happiness
To show the world they fit in
To believe in a story that never existed
Well, that's not us
We just believe in ourselves
and that's where we made it right on the wrongest way
When we find our match
We don't need to prove anything
Time will show us the way
And the winds bring me your presence all night long

Look at the sky

And I figured something I know for so long
There's no life if you cannot look at the sky and wonder and wish and give yourself wings to fly
My peace is there
When I look up and see there is so much more
The impossible
The things you dear the most and are far from your reach
Like the moon and the stars
I've always talked to them
And they always listen to me tenderly
And sometimes even hear my call
I will always need to look up at the sky
Cloudy days are indifferent
We'll never know what they have to say
And to see the cloudless sky of the night is like reading a book
I can find myself and can reach for answers
The darkness can always brings light to my thoughts
And I always talk above
And wish upon a star
And no matter where you are
Is there I feel
I connect with myself and the world
And somehow I think you feel me too

The void and the silence are louder than my cry

Sometimes I wish I could stop thinking about you
That all the missing could go away
I want you so much in my life
It feels like a void inside me
Last night you were not there
That was my only birthday wish
And it didn't come true
It would be my best gift
But this is real life
And surrounded by so many people I was there...alone
I wonder how I could have you in my life
But you are not here for me
When I need you the most
I don't need you to save me
I just want to share my world with you
Time passes by
And we start to figure
Life is just that
No matter how hard we try
Everything we love the most
Just goes away
We cannot control someone else's feelings
How can I let you go
When I just hold on to you
I got a taste and now I want it all

Comme toi, j'ai oublié

As the days pass by the pain goes away little by little
'Cause I understood I cannot expect anything anymore
So I realized life goes on
And I cannot carry you in my heart like a burden
You will always be here as the air I breath
And I will take it
However I still miss you
I figure I love, need and want you more and more
But only time can help us figure out
So I will wait
I will be patient
I will silence for my love
So we keep only the good memories
And maybe one day
I will be able to have you once again
I miss you so much
It makes me cry
I need you so much
I made a choice
To let you go

someday you'll know

I'm afraid to show my feelings for you
I'm scared it you push you away
So now that you are not in my day by day
I can show it tothe world
And we'll always have those days
those moments
They're ours forever
Even if in memories
And I'll never let this go away
these memories will never fade
since the day I met you
to al the moments we spent together
I'll keep them all to myself
no matter if you are still here
or if you are gone
my love for you is what remains
and all the moments we shared
i won't give you up so easily
but i think we need time to think things by
i want you to leave your shell
open yourself to life
live each day
and if i'm still there
maybe someday

Sonhos de menina

Quando tudo era possível e ainda podia se acreditar
Palavras doces e aquele sentimento de pertencimento
Ainda é permitido sonhar
Mas os sonhos ficam cada vez mais distantes
Parecem mais ilusões
E a realidade nos leva a enxergar com os olhos para baixo
Ainda olho as estrelas
São as mesmas
Mas tudo ao redor mudou
As formas endureceram
O olhar ficou cheio de lágrimas
E a solidão tomou conta de onde ainda há amor
Seguir adiante parece a única opção
Enquanto a memória ainda se prende às lembranças e à presença ausente que parece nunca ir embora

Trying

And then I figure
Life is not being easy on me
I don't know if I ever have a break
I can handle
I've been doing this all along
But finding you just to loose you
Well, that was not easy at all
No matter what I do
No matter where I go
Is you I wait for
Is you I need and think of
And I miss you so much
Sometimes I wonder if maybe what I miss is what it could be
I'm just lost
And after you
Everyone else doesn't matter

Por toda a minha vida

E já faz cerca de um mês
Nos encontramos novamente
Foram os dias mais felizes da minha vida
Ter você ao meu lado
Nada se compara a essa sensação
Agora só restou saudade
E não tem um dia
Ou um minuto sequer em que não penso em você
E quero te abraçar
Rir com você
Ver você cantando
Tocar suas mãos
Contar seus sinais
Ver que você tem os dedos dos pés mais bonitinhos
É...quando a gente ama até dos dedos dos pés se sente falta
Queria ter você aqui agora
Queria olhar bem dentro dos seus olhos e dizer que te amo
Dizer tudo que guardei para mim
É engraçado que sempre ouço histórias como a nossa
E elas sempre tem final feliz
Onde foi no meio do caminho que eu errei
Onde você deixou de me amar
Por que você não vem para mim?
Deixa eu te fazer feliz
Deixa eu cuidar de você
Deixa eu poder te amar
Vamos tentar
Eu morro a cada dia sem você
É como se meu coração estivesse indo embora
Só a saudade e a lembrança de você nao se vão...
E na verdade, eu não quero que se vão...nunca
Quero poder levar você sempre dentro de mim
Lembrar da gente juntos
Lembrar de ser feliz
Recordar seu toque, sua voz, seu sorriso, sua pele
Não quero mais dizer adeus
Quero que entre em minha vida de uma vez por todas
Quero que entre para ficar
Não fique aí parado sem ação
De uma vez por todas
Diga alguma coisa
Se você também me ama
Eu espero toda uma eternidade
So preciso saber
Não aguento seu silêncio é como uma facada em meu peito
Queria te contar tantas coisas
Queria ouvir de você
Sinto tanta falta de você
Por que você sumiu assim
Não importa o que aconteça
Eu sempre vou te amar

"Eu sei que vou te amar
Por toda a minha vida eu vou te amar
Em cada despedida eu vou te amar
Desesperadamente
Eu sei que vou te amar

E cada verso meu será pra te dizer
Que eu sei que vou te amar
Por toda a minha vida

Eu Sei que vou chorar
A cada ausência tua eu vou chorar,
Mas cada volta Tua há de apagar
O que essa ausência tua me causou

Eu sei que vou sofrer
A eterna desventura de viver a espera
De viver ao lado teu
Por Toda a minha vida"

The grievance

There's not a minute in my day that my head is not thinking of you
I'm afraid it will never end
Why did you take my heart like this
How was I suppose to know
I need you more than you could imagine
I miss you
I still wait every second for a message from you
I don't understand your silence
Why you keep avoiding me
Do you think of me?
Do you miss the moments we had?
Does your heart belongs to someone else?
Wish I could know what goes on your mind
If only you could tell me
So I would maybe understand
Or just let go
You just don't say anything
Why?
I would love to hear from you
What you think, feel
Why did you go meet me in Lisbon?
Out of pity, to see if you liked me, for the fun...why?
Please don't leave me
I just can't breath
Why this is happening to me?