It is killing me day by day

Right now all I need is to hug you
And cuddle next to you
I almost can feel your touch
My heart is just hurting so much from missing you
I just don't know how to deal with this
I never thought I would feel this way about you
And I didn't know it could hurt so bad
Sometimes I cry
And sometimes I hate myself for not being able to control this
And the worst part is to not know for how long I will handle this
And for not having the slightest idea if I will ever see you again
It just kills me
Feels like I'm dying little by little
Wish you could understand how much I need you and miss you
Is just like being lost in the dark
This never happened before
I never cried everyday like this before
Something is wrong with me
This can't just be impossible love
I just wished I could let all this go away
Why is it so hard?
Why can I just have you by my side
Why?
It just hurts so bad
And your silence
And not knowing how you feel
And not knowing what will happen
And the feeling we will never meet again
It is just all so hard to carry
I'm just a girl all alone
Carrying this all by myself
And I don't know how much I can handle
Nothing around me can change that
No one can fill this void
Nothing
I've been somewhere close to this before
And I could just keep going
Filling voids
Not this time though
What's going on?
Can somebody tell me
I just want to get out of this
And walk through it
Free of all this hurting and pain within
My heart is forever crashed
I haven't done anything to be feeling like this
I just want to disappear
I just need to leave myself and all these feelings
I just cannot waste my tears over this
I don't know where they all come from
It was never like this before
I just need to fill this void
I just need to let this go
I need answers
I need to quiet down my heart
I need to silence down these feelings
But as you silence the more my heart hurts and screams
I need to let this go
Just have to learn how