reality bites

what i did to him
well, that was probably not the right thing to do
i pressured him too hard
and i never got the answers
until now
so maybe the wrongs worked for the right
and no matter how much love this whole story has nurished
there was no base or structure strong enough to sustain so much illusions
life and love are very mischievous
and we always find ourselves broken
specially when is only one way
the love you give is not the same you will ever get back
and so it is
reaity bites

tudo se desencontrou

Eu só queria dizer que te amo

E acabei jogando tudo no lixo

Eu só queria contar que não vivo sem você

Que os dias são de dor porque não tenho nunca a certeza do reencontro

E fiz você me odiar

Perdi a melhor coisa da minha vida

por nada

simplesmente por existir o tempo e o espaço

Agora preciso viver a missão de enterrar um amor

de aguentar os dias e as noites

até que um dia eu pare de achar que você existe dentro de mim

enquanto lá você ficará adormecido

É uma longa estrada

O caminho é árduo

mas acredito que você não fez parte disso à toa

você veio para me ensinar

e foi na dor

algo que já estou tão acostumada

só que dessa vez me transformou

não sou mais a mesma

estou perdida

sem seu rumo

eu só queria saber se um dia você também me amou

não quero deixar você ir

mas não tenho escolha

e estou morrendo

what a wasted love we never lived - when there is true love

and then, being a grow up person, finally I found out

You should never trust anyone

Life plays some trick ways to teach you

You fall in love

you believe

you give you whole life

for lies

sometimes we are just open to believe in people

and then they say you are the one

you believe as if it was the turth

you give you heart for it

you live your life for it

and your life becomes someone else

because you just find out

eventhough you were close to life

someone is so special

and life happens

you fall in love

and then you learn to love

and that one fling becomes 

the love of your life

once you start to know him

and he is sweet and kind

he's a devil and at the same he's your angel

you love

you live

you want to make this your whole world

just to embrace what you find

then you think this feelings are magical

and that it work for both of you

until you find out

that all along

you were feeling this all alone

because the other half was emptyness

You figured then that all along

it was all an illusion

I was loving someone I created

that actually never loved me

I surrendered to something that never existed

I loved a lie

I loved someone who never was

it was all just something I believed and that I loved so much

that I thought it was true

But I know how true life works

because i don't live lies

and in some moment

I believed what we had was true

and i just opened myself to the unknown

and then i found me in the darkest part of something

I will never be able to fix

no matter how much I try

no matter how much I love

And today the only thing I know for sure

is that i lost the love of my life

the only one I believed

the one I threw my whole

for nothing

what a whole lot of love to waste

he was all lies

he hated me

while I was giving my whole life 

to make this work

My soul is tainted

my heart is shattered

my life is lost

once I found the one I love

And he just gave up on me for nothing

while I fought

and killed me in dry cold words of indiference

The one promise I make to myself

never fall in love again

no one deserves what you once loved

and what hurts is that the loved one could never see or feel

all the love there was
because all the love was gone to waste

How to mend a broken heart

I have to run the fast as I can and never look back again
I have to throw this heart away
Thay's the only way I might stop thinking one day you were real to me
I just wanted to lock myself away very very far until this goes away
Always knew what to do
But this time
I lost myself in you
And now I am just fragments of who I was scattered all over
Trapped in memories
Trying to find what was left of me
With no illusions this could ever work
Maybe it was never meant to be
I thought I had enough love for both of us
When all you wanted was a friend
And I understood everything wrong
Believing when you said I was the one
Because I knew from the start
I would ended hurt
However I let go of the fear and allowed me to love you
And I fought for us
And nothing I could do was enough
To make this happen
No i am here
Just grieving on what it could have been
And it'll never be
I made a choice and it was you
You turned your back on me
And close the door to your heart
I am just an abandoned heartless
Begging for some love
This poor heart of mine
Will never recover this time
Since its pieces are never to be found
Left in the places we had been before
And leaving me just a small piece all broken in uneven parts
So no glue could ever mend it
Maybe some tape it'll do the job masking it
I just don't know how to give this love for someone else
If I was waiting all my life to give this to you

If

And when silence break in again
When there's nothing else to say
I wait for you to change this
But as I fill myself in expectations
I just receive emptiness on the other side
I feel used
I feel hurt
And lonely
Believing in someone that
Often fails on me
In fact, I am the only one to be blamed for this, for holding too much expectations
And to keep waiting everlong
For a word
For a kind gesture
For your presence
In any way
I'm always waiting
Hoping
For these moments
And keep waiting...
And hoping...
When on the other side
There's just silence
And here I am
As always
Needing you
Even if just in words
But as you come
Out of the blue
Then you go
Not even saying good-bye
As if I meant nothing
Just a regular company
For your lost nights
I wonder sometimes if you actually got any memories of me
Any rememberance of the moments we were together
Or if I am just vague words to fulfill some of your loneliness times
I guess I will never figure out
As you come and go as you please
Leaving me here always lost
Without knowing what I've done wrong

There's no hope in you for me

If I could choose everything would be completely different

I heard some news today

And it broke my heart

I never know if I'm wasting my time

If I have to fight this

Or if I just should run away and never look back again

It just hurts to know it was all to waste

And I'm never sure about your feelings for me

It's all so dubious

Wish I could be strong enough to never look back again

And let you go

But you are my weakeness

I'm tired of trying tough

I'm tired of believing and hoping

You are never here

And will never be

If you don't love me

Why should I keep wasting my time

I know I will let this go little by little

Is just that and still want to believe

But at some point it will all be gone

There will be only memories

Of what it could be

You never try enough

While I try so hard

And that makes me cry

This mess we're in

I need your presence
And you are never here for me
I think this is all wrong
I should move on
But then there's my heart
My reason say forget it
My heart say
Love it to the most
You are so far
Sometimes i dream this could work
But reality keeps telling me
It never will
You are the only one I gave my heart to
But it is a one way street
You are never here for me
And I am always there for you
This night was the worst
After everything we went through
When I thought you would be here
You were just gone
I am not a saint
But faithful to what I feel
And that's how I know
When I was healing myself from you
You just showed up
To make me hurt
"So if you love me, say you love me, but if you don't let me go"

moonlight brightening my nights

and then the silence was over

you just appeared again as the moonlight

brightening my nights

the soft talks fill my heart

any presence of you in my life

is enough for me 

feel this connection is better than anything I could get

just makes me want you closer

I wonder if you miss me the same way I do

all my ever trying ways to see you again

and it all comes up to uncertainty

will we ever have a chance to live this story

i don't know what will happen to us

maybe nothing and at some point we will just go our separate ways

carrying each other just as good memories from the past

as this unsolvable mistery

a love not allowed to happen

a story mostly lived by written words

why can't we just live it up to the most

I would give everything to have you

but as a mistery unsolved

there are somethings between the lines that I cannot really figure out

and I think is because you are not really sure of what you want, or what you need

I just truly wish it would be us

And I would do anything to have you now

I miss you in a way that you probably will never understand
Not only in the sexual way
Which makes me scream and shout
I miss your presence
The way we could be one day
If this ever could be possible
I miss your voice
Just the beat of your heart
And no matter how far
I never felt so close
But the why
I love you
With all my heart and soul
For everything and anything
I just know I feel safe with you
No matter what
And I let go of all the pain for just these moments with you
'Cause even that is paradise for me
And what i cannot ever tell you that
Even when i am with someone else
I close my eyes and i pretend is you
That's how much i need you
And besides the yearn and desire
There's the love
The stupid little things i love about you
And i feel i am being trapped
Cause as i love
I do anything to make you happy
But then i feel just used
And that i don't mean anything
But if i let go
Is just because you have no idea
How much i love you
And for this feeling i never felt before...
I just allow myself everything

That's how I love you

You are the best thing that ever happened in my life
I also want things to be easier for us
There's nothing I wish the most
Than being close to you
I miss you so bad
That when I close my eyes I almost feel your presence
And the longing makes me runaway from myself and from the pain your absence brings me
How can two hearts be so close even apart
And no matter how hard it is
It seems impossible to let you go
I can wait all my life
Just say I can believe
I would do anything to have right here with me

Life is a roller coaster

Sudenlly everything that was perfectly planned came to ashes
And my will to run away became somehow the desire to stay and create roots
Love is what I live for
But then the impossible love
Turned to reality
I stopped dreaming
Maybe are the marks on my face telling me
It's time to stop dreaming
I made my choices
And even though I'm really afraid of
I'm afraid I'll keep my path all alone
Not for the wrong choices
But for the ones I believed
And unfortunately
The choice I made was the most unprobable one
The choice was mine
The long way ahead will tell me
What we have to wait for
By now
Only broken hearts
Empty promises
Hope to keep faith on it
But all in an empty
Very empty story
Filled with love
But with lack of courage to live it to the fullest
That's what experience do
No matter how naive you are
And dreamer
There's always something pushing you back to the ground
The fear of making the same mistakes again
The fear of not making the one you love happy
And for the first time ever
I am lost
I have everything and have nothing
And if I could make a choice I would trade all my professional success for love
But love don't feed us
So stop dreming sweet naive ballerina
Age is coming to you
With loneliness
That's the choice you made
So learn to live with yourself
And say goodbye to hopes and dreams
'Cause they are all just empty
As this moment
Get used to it
Life goes on
Just don't bitter up yourself
As life gets bitter and bitter
Give hope
Spread happiness
Although you know
Your life is not exactly like this
You made your choices
Lessons learned
Don't ever fall in love again
It always makes you die

Nicest Thing

Those kind of words that fit straight up on how you feel and then naivness hits you and you dream someone else could feel the same way too...but that's not how life works...you never receive back the much you feel...
"I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met"...I cannot forget the first time I saw his face...
The way it feels through the looking glass: one way street

(Nicest Thing - KateNash)

All I know is that you're so nice

You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dress was your favourite kind of style
But you'd always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met
'Cause it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three
Yeah, I wish that without me you'd be
Spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
Yeah, I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep
You're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish we could see if we could be something
Yeah, I wish we could see if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl

I wish you couldn't figure me out

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly

I wish that without me your heart would break

Look, all I know is that

I do have a long short life

I've done enough
Even though is never too much
I do love you
But i think i try too hard
For never
So there's only emptiness
My life is much more than this
I cannot erase what I feel
But sometimes
We have to let it go
Specially when you give so much
And the only thing you find back is indiference cowardness and silence
I have to give my own value
And although I love
It's time to quit the pain
And let it go
Maybe I'll love you forever
But I'mtired of trying and trying for nothing
There's no much effort if you wanna prove you love
But you don't do it
You never did it
So it means as you always said that you just don't care
So go away from my life for good
Stop making me believe
And then someday
I might forget you
And stop loving you
And what we were one day
I believe we are much more than that
But I'm tired of fighting this love all alone
So maybe it's time to say
"Love you with my life, but not made to play stupid games"
So long my everlasting love

Fecho meus olhos para encontrar os seus

E nos braços de outro eu só via você
Eu fujo da saudade, que me consome a cada dia,
Perdida em outro alguém
Mas eu fecho os olhos e vejo você
Não sinto culpa
A solidão tem dessas coisas
Mas me doi saber que não posso te ter
Que o tempo e a distância nos separam
E incerteza dos dias me fazem questionar se te verei novamente
Não quero deixar você ir de mim
Já que é o melhor em minha vida
Um abraço, um beijo me bastariam
Estar ao seu lado mais uma vez
Ter você comigo
É só o que preciso
Só que me parece, às vezes, quase impossível
Por que?

Tied up again in this mess

Isn't it weird
It's been two years
And you are still here
Why did you come back to my life?
We've been trhough so many indecisions and indefinitions
It was always like this
But now even though things are still the same
Something in you has changed
I changed
My heart changed
What remains is a great friendship
A companionship
But when we are together
I fear it could all come back again
And it's not worth it
'Cause only I know how bruised I got out of this
I found someone new
But just as you
Another story filled with indefinitions, pain and loneliness
Maybe is my fate to fall for the wrong boys
Actually the right ones
But the very complex ones
Funny that you are so different but so much alike
As you said last night
It will always work between us
In this crazy non conventional way
I just don't wanna fall for you again
Unless this time you wanna catch me
'Cause I just need someone to get in to my life and stay for good
Someone to walk together
A real partner in crime