Just as hollow as my heart

I've got to a point where I believe I've been holding on in to something that I created just to protect me
I've been questioning if this is true
Or if I am feeling all this because I know it will never happen
So it's safe to believe it's true when in fact all is just a hollow reflection of an unlived story
Something there is not and will never be
I want it to leave me and at the same time I hold to these so tight that it cannot leave me
As if that's all I have left from my truly self
A picture of what it could have been
Just scenes I created in my mind
But that actually might never be real
Reality could be a lot different
But in my heart it's all written
And is all fiction
I won't hold to this anymore
And as hard as it might sound
I'll try this time to open this cage and let it go
So love is meant to be free
And as everything in life is also bound to end
I feel sorry for the mess I created
Even though I don't regret a thing
Or maybe I do regret
The day I started it all
And the moment I began to believe
All the rest was part of it
And is all intertwined in the lost time, in what it was, in what is left, on the nothing it became