What's next now

I really don't know why all this much is going on in my life.
I just think it's time to move on.
I have to change the path, the way of thinking, my drive, about all aspects.
I'm tired.
And for a year or so everything that I thought I was starting to build little by little just fell apart.
Nothing actually worked out, not the way I expected, or in any other way.
Just turn arounds in all aspects.
Well, if everything is going wrong, there might be something I am doing wrong.
And it has to change.
Just don't know where to start over, or how...but I need to figure this out.
Maybe I take things too much seriously, I believe too much in people, expecting that I get back what I give, in love, in work, but maybe that's not how this world works.
Life has been adding bitterness into my heart and with that maybe I'll learn to be stronger, to care less, to use the reason more than the heart.
Maybe this way I won't scare people out of my life and won't embrace lost causes, when you just have to play the game and go with the flow.
Maybe I've been expecting too much of life and it's time to expect nothing at all, just live day by day and take what it comes from it. Just accept defeat and don't struggle too much to try to make things right and your hands are tied and the wheigh of things is to heavy to carry all along the way by myself. I think that's how life works in the end and we always have to learn the hard way.
So why paint a picture that does not exist and struggle to try to make people also believe in it. Each one of us paint their own pictures.