The whole existence

All I ever wanted was to touch and reach his heart
But clumsy as I am I did everything wrong
All I've done was to make him go away
When I needed him closer to me even if in words
I lost so many loved ones lately that the last thing I needed was to loose the one that came into my life and changed it all upside down
Pondering about the past and what I lived before I was searching for an answer, a reason why I got so attached to him
And doubting myself and my feelings
I went deep inside to figure out a motive for all this
And all I could find is that there's no reason
It is all completely different from the start
He just grew on me like as if it was part of myself
A piece of me that was asleep
Waiting to blossom and that I had to cherish with my whole
Something I never had experienced so far
Until he showed up out of nothing
I made sense to my whole being
And the craziest thing about all this and that I could never be able to explain or share
Is that from the first look I knew
From the first time he touched my hand in the air I knew
It was meant to be
Then life has always challenges and lessons
That sometimes we just don't understand
Therefore we finally understand that love is not meant to be for two
And maybe what life is trying to teach me
Is that I have to go through this to understand that love is not enough
That reason must be above it all
What a waste to live then
What a cold place it is the existence
If you cannot live to the most the most simple and pure things
If everything is a game, a lesson, a challenge
We might as well be born without any feelings whatsoever
If the only thing life teach us is to be colder and colder
And to stop believing in what the senses tell all over
Life as it is nowadays is transforming people in cold hearted robots
And the simple things are each and everytime becoming worthless
Such a poor existence
An unfair view of the joy of life
Which in its whole meaning were supposed to be about sharing and finding
Not today though
In these days is all about loosing the meanings and becoming selfish and bitter individuals
I've come all this way in a path full of hard work and obstacles to find out that what I went through was the easiest part
And no money, no career, not doing your part in society will mean anything if you don't ever have someone to share
If you don't have love
If in the end of the day is just one more empty day if you don't have someone to share, to trust, to take care of, someone who ask about your day, someone who cares
The whole meaning of life is not to walk alone, but to have someone to share the path, the wrongs and rights
Well, that's what I thought about life
Until it taught me it was the opposite
The whole path
We just walk alone
All along
We might have people we cross on our way
But each and everyone goes its own way
What a sad world
So many paths
So many lifes
And so much loneliness
I don't belong here